UPDATE: Blank Space was released a day early, according to the director Joseph Kahn who tweeted this earlier. The video was then pulled from the internet. Boooo! But is now back LIVE. Hurrah. You can watch it in full here.
Anyways, who needs to watch when you can read about the style tips you can take from the video here. The whole thing is basically Blair Waldorf's wet dream.
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Horses make fabulous live art pieces
Especially if you indulge in a monochromatic colour palette for the room. Here, you can see that juxtaposed against Taylor’s black nightdress the horses only add to the near perfect aesthetic of her bedroom, especially when you factor in the effortlessly adorable Olivia Benson (that’s the cat, BTW). Obviously you won’t be responsible for the things like scraping the horse shit off your marble floor. That’s for the hired help.
Always be responsible for your own artwork
I mean, can you trust anyone else to capture just the right amount of artistic wankery and pomp that you’re looking for in your house’s decorative items? Absolutely not.
Black dogs are the ultimate accessory to nailing your evening look
What screams ‘I’ve arrived’ at a fancy black tie do more than three slobbering, aggressive and questionably-trained dobermans straining at their leads? Not much. Simply arrive, hand them over to the butler and pick them up again from what’s left of him at the end of the evening.
No-one needs helmets when your hair’s THIS good
Sure wearing helmets on horses is probably advocated by the bores at the British Horse Society, but when you’ve got a sunglasses/red lippy/black glove combo this good going on it’d be a crime to dampen the look with something as practical as a helmet.
When picnicking, make sure the food looks as fabulous as you
Next to a dress this good, wilted sandwiches and a pack of Walkers Sensations is hardly going to cut it. Instead, stick to adorable candy hearts and lots and lots of champagne – you’ll be starving hungry and more drunk than that time you broke into Daddy’s alcohol cabinet whilst he and Mummy were off summering in Antibes, but my God, the Instagram pictures will be worth it.
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Revenge is a dish best served in sartorial perfection
There’s no point at all wreaking revenge on a cheating beau unless you look fantastic whilst doing it. Taylor here *could *have just dropped her boyfriend’s phone in the toilet, but instead decided to make a spectacle out of the whole thing, complete with matchy matchy sartorial excellence and a Renaissance-esque fountain.
Nothing screams crazy like leopard print and a live deer
If you’re going to have a dramatic breakdown, it helps to have a period fireplace to lean against in an affected manner. Other tips? Clad oneself in designer animal print – the print of choice for eccentric women since silent film star Phyllis Gordon adopted a pet cheetah – smear your mascara down your face and call in a favour from the local woodsman and borrow his deer until you’re done crying. Which should be in a while.
Never, ever destroy a car unless you’re in entirely impractical clothes
The less aesthetically concerned of you out there might think tracksuit bottoms and a T-shirt would be the most practical attire for such a physical activitiy as destroying a £100,000 car with a golf club. Lukcily Taylor knows better. Even if that bandeau top and matching skirt are ruined by flying shards of glass, mascara and/or flying gravel, then at least she looked good doing it.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.