In Defence Of Letting Yourself Go This Winter

SORRY FOR LETTING YOU DOWN MEN

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by Jess Commons |
Published on

Just in case you wanted another reason to make yourself feel fan-fucking-tastic today, just check out this study that finds six out of ten women ‘let themselves go’ during winter.

I mean sure, fine that’s just great. Women eh, what are they like? Only bothering to shave/watch what they eat/wear high heels/fake tan/dress nice like nine months out of the year instead of twelve. How selfish is that? Luckily men keep themselves in tip top condition year round otherwise how would we know that ‘letting ourselves go’ during winter was absolutely unacceptable? Thanks Menfolk!

READ MORE: A Few Sartorial Signs That You’re Already In Winter Mode

In all fairness the study does say that a third of men put on weight and grow facial hair but for some reason that’s not the headline anyone's decided to put with it this morning.

So in response, we've decided it's high time to talk about a few reasons why ‘letting yourself go’ is actually the most sensible idea you’ve had this winter.

It’s evolutionarily sound

There’s a reason you grow hair on your body parts and pack fat around your middle you know, it’s for keeping warm. Which is handy when you have a season like winter, which is generally understood to be the season of cold weather. The moment you start shaving your legs and armpits post-November though, you open yourself up for all sorts of cold-related illnesses like erm, chill blains and pneumonia. Probably.

It’s safer

According to the study, come winter time we women give up on high heels and painting our toenails and instead hide our ever-burgeoning shapes under gross baggy jumpers and coats. But, hear us out; it's a concept that's not entirely mad. In winter a thing called ice forms on the ground, making footwear with a heavy tread a good idea if you don’t want to fall and break your ankle. Also, as previously noted, cold is bad. Luckily women can protect themselves from it by wrapping up in said jumpers. Hiding your form might be selfish ladies but at least you won’t die.

READ MORE: Sweden's Got A Brilliant Idea To End Sexism In Games

It saves money

Do you know how much the gym costs these day? Like, so much, I mean it’s outrageous and disgusting and basically like putting a tax on exercise. December’s an expensive month already too. Between buying train tickets to visit your various family members, purchasing presents for people who won’t appreciate them at all and spending your cash on body weight’s worth in red wine and cheese, it seems to us that ditching the gym membership is probably in fact a fantastic idea.

It makes you more relevant socially

What’s the number one thing everyone in the world spends their time talking about? Boxsets, that’s what. But like hell have you got time to watch every single one that everyone’s obsessed with. Instead you’ve been waiting patiently for the past four years for someone to bring up The Good Wife at the right time just so you can participate in the general office banter. Ditching your life to become a couch potato finally ensures you can catch up on the NTK series from Breaking Bad to Game Of Thrones.

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Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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