Houseplant game not too strong? You're not alone. For all that we're true believers in the houseplant's ability to transform a drab, dark, damp flatinto the Pinterest-friendly home of dreams, maintenance is a huge pain in the ass.
Hate to destroy that dream for you mate, but knowing how much and how frequently to water your plants is pretty crucial to keeping them alive. Who'd have thought? And if you're not very good at remembering to do so (hi, that's me), despite reading all the advice and trialling the most resilient of houseplants, your last resort is of the artificial species.
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There's no shame. It's totally legit and if you chose wisely, no one but you would have any idea that you've not so much as touched your luscious green, full and leafy potted plants since purchasing them. Sure, they might not smell pretty or lend a hand to cleaning the gross polluted air or anything, but they'll look pretty good in that baron, mould-stained corner in the living room, won't they?
Thought so. Here are nine very real looking, totally fake houseplants to order. Green thumbs not required and no, it's not cheating it's called admitting horticultural defeat and being really bloody resourceful.
Debrief Best Artificial Houseplants
1 of 9Artificial Mountain Plant, Evergreendirect, £10.95
2 of 9FEJKA House bamboo, IKEA, £3
3 of 9Mica® Artificial Spiderwort, Bakker, £17.95
4 of 9Mica® Artificial Fittonia Nerve Plant, Bakker, £11.95
5 of 9Mica® Artificial Pampas Grass, Bakker, £34.95
6 of 9Artificial Bamboo Tree, The Range, £29.99
7 of 9Artificial Cactus in Metallic Pot, John Lewis, £8
8 of 9Artificial Cactus in Hanging Glass, John Lewis, £8
9 of 9Bamboo Tree Artificial Plant, Tesco, £34.90
MORE: 7 Low-Key Houseplants That's Survive Dark Rooms
The Debrief Houseplants For Dark Rooms Slider
1 of 5The ZZ Plant
Full name Zamioculas Zamiifolia. Strength: happy in the dark. Like, with no natural light at all. Weakness: won't grow in the dark, but it won't die either.
2 of 5Calathea
The long and short of it is that basically, they're decorative, colourful, help pure the air and also bright sunlight makes their leaves fade so…
3 of 5Dracaeua Surculosa
If you're after a big plant that attracts attention but doesn't require proper maintenance, here's your guy. They don't like direct sunlight all that much so that corner of your bedroom is perfect.
4 of 5Peace Lily
Bet you didn't know they originate in tropical rain forests which means they're used to super low light and will still bloom when you plonk them there. Also means they like to be warm and well-watered, though.
5 of 5Mother-in-Law’s Tongue
The snake plant (it goes by many names) never fails us. It's also really forgiving if you forget to water it too. You can find out more about it on site here.
Follow Jazmin on Instagram @JazKopotsha
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.