‘I Tried To Go Without Processed Food For A Week And It Was An Absolute Nightmare’

I’ve just finished a Kinder Bueno and my second bag of Cadbury's Animals of the day. There is a big tub of popcorn under my desk and the pleasure I get from the sound of opening a can of red coke is a little bit excessive. My snack habit is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of how dependent my diet is on processed food. So, in the name of aspirational content (and health, I guess), I decided to give it all up and see what happened.

We seem to be in the middle of a food crisis here in the UK, you see. Research published in the Public Health Nutrition journal earlier this year said that of 19 European countries, we buy the most ultra-processed food. No, it’s not surprising in the slightest really, but should we be more worried? The NOVA system of food classification defines ultra-processed as made ‘mostly of cheap industrial sources of dietary energy and nutrients plus additives, using a series of processes’. It’s all of that enticing, moreish ‘energy-dense, high in unhealthy types of fat, refined starches, free sugars and salt, and poor sources of protein, dietary fibre and micronutrients’ stuff. Pretty much everything I eat and don't bat an eyelid over.

While 50.7 percent of all food bought by British families is at this level of heavily altered, we’ve also had to impose a sugar tax to get brands to cut the insanely high sugar content in their fizzy drinks and we’ve become reliant on ‘convenient’ food that holds barely any nutritional quality. In our eyes, it seems, the processed fodder trumps natural produce because convenience is key, right?

I’d love to blame this societal disposition on my committed diet of cheese, pre-made pasta sauces and the aforementioned sugary snacks, but it’s not like any of us can get away with saying that we don’t know what’s healthy (fruit, veg, nuts… the natural stuff), and not so good for you (ready meals, ‘instant’ packets and anything that’s too high in sugar, salt and fat) anymore. So perhaps it more a matter of not really understanding what’s in our food and how much is needlessly added to it.

Giving up processed food for a week was a chance to get my head around this. It turns out that most food is processed in one way or another. The NHS website explainsthat ‘a processed food is any food that has been altered in some way during preparation’. That can be as basic as freezing, dying and canning or as worryingly complex as the mass producing of foods full of empty calories, additives and preservatives. And while it's definitely not all bad, it's not all necessary either.

We're now conditioned to expect and crave sugar and salt because it's so highly concentrated in most of the prepared food we buy. But how hard is it to take matter into your own shopping basket and ditch the easy food? I'm a nightmare for junk food and in the working week, convenience is key and patience is minimal. Here's what happened when I reluctantly gave it a go.

Monday

I started my day with a coffee without really thinking. Coffee is definitely processed. I did not roast the beans myself. After falling at the first hurdle I decided not to count coffee because I hear being awake is crucial to working, eating and writing this story. I popped into Pret on my way into work and panicked about what to get for breakfast so turned around and left after silently sobbing over another customer’s croissant.

At lunch I pulled myself together and made my return to Pret. They pride themselves on the whole ‘freshly sourced, freshly made’ thing so used this to justify my very expensive tuna salad and Berry Vitamin smoothie even though all I wanted in the world was mac and cheese and a coke. But it’s fine because I’m doing a good thing here. This is for the greater nutritional good and processed food can suck it for a week. Power to me, I win. But also, shit. Tuna comes in a can, doesn’t it?

Dinner was sad. Very, very sad. I didn’t fancy churning my own butter and I’d given myself such an impressive pep talk about not needing cheese that I didn’t want to ruin it. So I had a dull jacket potato with some wilted spinach and a poorly poached egg. It was dry for my mouth. Held a plate of leftover apple pie for a bit before I went to bed.

Faff level?

2/10. I really didn't do very much. The poached egg didn't even work properly.

Smug level?

0/10. Still very resentful of my missed apple pie opportunity.

On a scale from 1 – Processed my day was:

Solid 3.

Tuesday

I’m not really one for breakfast what with the whole 'having to get up early for any reason whatsoever' thing, but quickly realised that unless you put effort into it (which I didn’t) a processed-free life isn’t as readily filling as my additive fueled one. So I spent £5 on chopped fruit and another smoothie that I didn’t want. At lunch I went to the supermarket to buy a bunch of bananas and felt very grown up about it. Contentment drooped when I realised that even at the salad bar my non-processed options were limited. No pasta, croutons or bacon bits for me. But then I caved and piled on some wholegrain tomato pasta because I’m weak and hungry and miss my old life.

Oven baked chicken thighs dressed in some fancy Manuka honey, lemon and garlic for tea with some sweet potato mash (as mashed by me) and broccoli. Maybe getting the hang of this DIY dinner malarkey...

Faff level?

3 - in reality the chicken thighs didn't require all that much effort but also the emotional admin of having to spend dollar on expensive fruit was stressful.

Smug level?

4 - a tad smug, not happy about it.

On a scale from 1 – Processed my day was:

Like a 2?

Wednesday

Had a meeting where breakfast was provided. Normally this would be a treat but instead it was torture. As much as a despise watching other people eat on a good day, today I was ratty, tired and left out as I endured everyone else’s consumption of smoked salmon bagels and Danish pastries. I had a delightful (and tame) fruit pot.

Everyone in the office is bored of my moaning by now but I persist with relaying how pissed off I am about agreeing to do this feature. I have a sugar headache without the sugar but nevertheless, I go to Pure (because all of the other high street favourites - Wasabi, Itsu, McDonalds and the like are out of the question) and spend a whole £7 on a salad that had salmon in it. I’m now confused and don’t know where I stand with the processed fish thing but I’m also too distressed by the fact that I couldn’t get the sweet potato curry because I didn’t understand what was actually in the sauce. Mum made me shepherd’s pie for dinner. I asked no questions.

Faff level?

I literally did nothing myself today. A fat lazy 0.

Smug level?

About a 5 purely because it was the first time I felt properly full all week.

On a scale from 1 – processed, my day was?

The shepherd's pie was probably cheating, wasn't it?

Day 4

Feeling more positive about life (and to remind myself that I do indeed having a backbone) I give myself a kick up the bum and get up early to make breakfast before work. I’ve not done this since the summer of 2011. I made banana pancakes out of a mushed-up banana and two whisked eggs. Drizzled a bit of honey on top and threw some blueberries at it too. Yay me. Obviously, this made me late for work but with great food responsibility comes the sacrifice of my usual train.

I’m not sure if it was just because I missed the fun of the junk food reliant life, but I used the work vending machine to buy some Graze nuts. Turns out they’re low-key preserved too but I don’t think too much about it because I won life with my pancakes earlier. Another depressing supermarket salad for lunch because I spent all my money on Pret and Pure ones earlier in the week.

I then felt sorry for myself and spent £3 on some strawberries and grapes to pick at throughout the day and no, I don’t know who I am anymore either. But then I go to a restaurant launch with some other journalist friends. Three glasses of champagne down and I’ve inhaled a plate of canapes which, judging from the waiter’s face, were probably meant for the rest of the room.

Faff level?

10 - The pancakes and washing of fruit was effort. But also the pancakes.

Smug level?

10 - Did you not read the bit about the pancakes?

On a scale from 1 – processed, my day was:

A 1 until the canapés. We all fall at the canapés.

Day 5

Three Babybels and a frube. That's how I started my day and mate, I'm not even sorry. A fifth day without cheese just wasn't a thing I was able to do. I let you down, I let myself down, I let the experiment down; I know. But you have no idea how good it felt.

Lunch was a more positive experience. Part of me was going to sack the whole thing off and go for a deep fried ready meal with a side of turkey dinosaurs, but I didn't. I opted for a jacket potato with beans that were definitely super high in sugar and salt. It came with a dressing-less salad, though so whatever.

That evening I went for drinks with a friend I hadn't seen for ages and therefore can't be held responsible for the two £1.50 Sainsbury's pizzas we ate when we got back to hers.

Faff level?

2 is probably a bit high but unwrapping those Babybels requires a fair bit of admin. Lots of stages, you know?

Smug level?

7 - I really like cheese.

On a scale from 1 – processed, my day was:

Yeah let's not go there. You don't want to know what I read on the back of those pizza boxes...

The Verdict? How Easy Is It To Go Without Processed Food?

It's really, really hard, you guys. It requires discipline that I evidently don't have but also it costs much more than you might imagine. £7 salads aren't the one and of course, if we were being way more cost effective than my little brain is capable of, I'm sure homemade lunches would be the way to go. But for your Average Jaz who is as used to a high sugar, low effort diet; as something that health officials are so eagerly encouraging, avoiding processed food is way more logistically tricky than it probably needs to be.

MORE: The Vegan Pasta Recipes Are So Much Better Without Cheese

Follow Jazmin on Instagram @JazKopotsha

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.