We probably haven't met (I haven't bothered socialising since I discovered Riverdale and glow-inducing supplements) but I can already tell you are an extremely busy individual with pressing life admin that needs your full attention.
I'm throwing a wild guess that you've have barely made a dent in your Christmas shopping, yet your list as long as your arm. It's highly unlikely you've even begun to consider what your new year's resolution will be. Not to mention the quinoa-buying, commuting, text-dodging, Instagram-stalking, Netflix -binging, 'Thanks for your email!!!'- sending, which makes up the nuts and bolts of your everyday, exhaustive life.
And, I haven't even mentioned the important task of browsing through ASOS's continuously updated New In section, ordering a few garments which ignite the soul, then returning 99% of them.
I had a few remaining days of holiday to use up before the end of the year, so decided to all the hard work for you! Now go forth and enjoy the embellished fruits of my labour!
ASOS New In 2017 - The Debrief
1 of 6Cardi Games
I look exactly like my Year Nine art teacher, which may be my new 2018 aesthetic. Now all I need is some abstract painting for my shoebox bedroom in Clapham. ASOS, Fluffy Rib Cardigan with Embellishment, £35 ; ASOS, Satin Midi Skirt with Lace Hem, £19
2 of 6Spot On
I have an irrational fear of maxi dresses, because I'm scared I'll look like a blur of fabric. Rest assured, this one has a leg split that would even have Ange Jolie frantically reaching for the St Moritz. ASOS, Ultimate T-Shirt Maxi Dress In Polka Dot, £22; ASOS, SHIRAZ Pointed Heels, £30
3 of 6Wild Thing
This yellow zebra-printed sensation embodies a ferocity that makes me desperate to wear it to every Christmas party I've been invited to this month. (AKA one.) ASOS, Zebra Print High Neck Belted Mini Dress, £38
4 of 6The Pat Butcher
For the daring lot (or the 'still drunk from the night before', crew) try some Alexa Chung-worthy clashing in the form of leopard print and a sparkly pink midi skirts. Corr, Pat Butcher would have been impressed. ASOS, Jumper with Brushed Animal Print, £30; ASOS, Metallic Midi Skirt with Channel Detail, £30
5 of 6Silver Lining
Money saving hack: give your presence as a present and dress up as one for good measure! This divine number is so metallic, you won't be able to see your poor mum's confusion. Or tears. ASOS, Metallic Bodycon Knot Front Slinky Mini Dress, £38
6 of 6The Bobby Dazzler
For all of you that have both a modest family bunch at 11am, followed by a flashy award ceremony at 9pm ,why not get a dress that can do both? ASOS, Sequin Mix Ditsy Raw Edge Print Midi Tea Dress, £65
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Follow Aimee on Instagram: @a1meejakes
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.