And so the One Direction saga lumbers on. Appparently, Zayn Malik, the band’s erstwhile fifth member, broke up with fiancee Perrie (her from Little Mix) via a text message.
Whether or not it’s true, text message break-ups are pretty low, but there are definitely worse ways to give someone the heave ho...
Via emoji
We might understand Emojis better than we understand actual words now (no really, scientists actually proved this) but there’s still a few things that are better communicated using the English language rather than by ‘pointing finger’, ‘smiling poo’ and ‘toilet’.
Whether or not you add ‘smiling face with sunglasses’ afterwards in a new text is dependent on how much of a smug bastard you want to be.
With a wedding invitation
Because nothing says, ‘We’re definitely not dating any more’ than an invitation to a ceremony to celebrate your significant other committing his life to *his *significant other.
The real kicker? Your invitation doesn’t include a plus one, and it’s just for the evening do. Want some ice for that burn?
Moving to Yemen
If Miss Chanandler Bong taught us one thing, it’s that leaving your friends, family, job and life behind is far preferable to having an awkward conversation about whether or not you want to be with someone any more.
Maybe you don’t have to move somewhere as extreme as Yemen, but at least pick somewhere that your soon-to-be-ex can’t get a £9.99 RyanAir flight to. Like St Petersburg.
Sure, the human rights record is questionable, but at least you’ll avoid having to say, ‘It’s not you, it’s me’.
At the beginning of a holiday
Sheer stupidity on your part. There’s no-one who’s *so *unbearable to be around that you can’t wait five more days to give them the old heave ho. So, leave it until you land back at Luton airport to make your move.
Actually, scratch that. Taxis back from Luton are *expensive. *Wait until you’re back home.
Like this? Then you might also be interested in:
Ask An Adult: How Can I Tell When It’s Time To Break Up With Someone?
Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.