Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my telephone bills? Do you pay my automo... No really, that would actually be very helpful. And, before the end of the month thanks.
I don't know what it is about bills, but they've been a mega source of tension in most of my shared houses. From disputes about how much everyone actually owes to pass-agg group messages that name and shame non-payers - 'CAN THE PERSON WHO'S NOT PAID ME £5.37 FOR WATER PLEASE DO SO NOW' - I don't think it's melodramatic to say they're a black shadow of total darkness looming over us all. But, they don't need to be. Here's how to make the whole 'paying for your amenities' malarkey a lot less painful.
Get organised as soon as you move in
After the stress of lugging both your wardrobe and your box-set collection to a new house, the last thing you want to do is compare gas providers. So, have a look online at rates from different energy providers before you move in. Then, work out who's paying what as soon as you step foot in your new pad. 'It's like having a job and seeing the contract up front,' says psychologist Natalie Thomas. 'Everyone's clear where they stand and they can either agree or not move in.' Oh - and check the meters ASAP.
Work out how you're splitting it
Are you all going to be in charge of one bill each or is one person going to be the utilities puppet master? Either way, all your names need to be on every bill. If one rogue housemates disappears into the night without paying, you're more likely to end up having to shell out their portion if their name is not on the bill. You also need to choose between paying from separate accounts or getting a joint account. Separate accounts are usually best if one of you has a poor credit rating - you could end up being ‘co-scored’ if you open an account together.
What if your housemate does disappear into the night?
If their name's on the bill, then pass on as much information as you have about them to your utilities providers. If not, then approach them in a public space where you know they'll be. 'My housemate moved out without paying £100 worth of bills,' says Tash, 27. 'My boyfriend and I had to go round to the pub like a pair of bailiffs. He wasn't there but two days later the money was in my account.' If that doesn't work, tell the police.
Give some notice
There's nothing worse than working out your spending for the month only for someone to reveal that there's actually a huge gas bill you all need to stump up for within the next 24 hours. If you're looking after payments, keep on top of deadlines so your housemates have a bit of time to save. Nikki, 27, used to be in charge of gas and electricity in her house of six girls. She says: My strategy was to give two weeks notice and keep the requests light and bouncy in tone like you were asking for a really simple favour.'
The 'er.. you haven't paid me?!' chat
It can be very tricky to ask a mate for money they owe you. 'Nagging is not what friendships are built on,' says Nikki. 'It's what parents do to their lazy teenagers - and that's what it feels like!' The best way to go about it is to avoid making accusations. Psychologist Natalie explains: 'Say 'your payment hasn't shown up in my account' rather than 'you haven't paid me'. This gives them a chance to explain themselves.'
If your housemate's a consistent late payer then the best way to encourage them to improve is to incentivise it. 'Acknowledge when they do pay on time,' says Natalie. 'And when they don't, tell them they'll have to cover any late charges you incur.'
Are you the consistent late payer?
If you keep forgetting to pay on time then start trying to transfer the money as soon as you get a message from your housemate about it. 'If you've got a chaotic lifestyle, then things you don't enjoy doing can end up at the bottom of the pile,' says Natalie. Set reminders to pay on your phone, and if your finances are in good shape then set up a standing order. If you can't afford to pay your bills, things are a bit different: 'Have a meeting with your housemates before the bill's due. They might be more lenient about lending you money if you give them advanced notice.'
Solving disputes
Unless you live in a house of semi-famous mathematicians, at some point one of you's going to calculate a payment wrong. Make sure all the bills and receipts are kept in a box in a shared area that everyone has access to. Natalie says: 'It's a good way to see what transactions you've done. Everyone should be able to go back and work out what's wrong.'
But, if you find yourself fighting over less money than you'd spend on lunch at Pret, it's probably a good idea to remind yourself that housemates >> a couple of quid. 'It's down to personal values,' says Natalie. 'But, when it comes down to a couple of pounds - is it worth risking your friendship over?'
Like this? Then you might also be interested in:
How To Split A Restaurant Bill With Friends When You're Skint
**Follow Kate On Twitter **@katelloud
Illustration by Camilla Perkins
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.