If 2017 and the #MeToo movement told us anything, it was that men are somehow still struggling to wrap their heads around the concept of consent. It really shouldn’t be that difficult to communicate sexual consent to your partner, but for those who still struggle (seriously, how?) Dutch company, LegalThings, is in the process of developing an app called LegalFling. Inspired by #MeToo and Sweden’s proposednew rape laws that require explicit consent before sexual contact, the app will allow users to secure explicit legal consent from their potential partners.
Imagine, you’ve just been on an absolutely amazing date, but it’s nearing the end of the night…. You decide to go home with your date and suddenly the possibility of having sex is on the cards.
Or is it? Maybe you or your partner are confused about what ‘I want to have sex’ looks like?
Well, don’t you worry about a thing- just whip out your smartphone and open up your LegalFling app. In a few quick swipes and taps you can send out and respond to fling requests from anyone in your contacts list.
If your desired sexual partner accepts your request then hey presto, you’ve got a legally binding contract without the awkwardness of shuffling through legal papers in front of witnesses. ‘Asking someone to sign a contract before the fun starts is a little uncomfortable,’ LegalFling explains on its website, ‘A simple swipe is easy as 1,2,3.’
Is this seriously the future of consensual sex?
Without even beginning to talk about how awkward and unsexy this app makes sexual consent, let’s just stop and call out the fundamental issues with any kind of consent app (LegalFling is by no means the first of its kind, it’s just that its predecessors never lasted long). It’s important not to reduce consent to a legal checkbox, consent always needs to be an ongoing conversation between you and your partner. Just because you consented prior to sexual contact, does not mean that you’ve given some kind of blanket consent to any and all sexual activities. And crucially, you can always still change your mind.
You are perfectly within your rights to agree to sex and then change your mind and back out even after things start getting heated. Does LegalFLing take this into account?
If you change your mind, LegalFling assures that a clause in the contract affirms that ‘“no” means “no” at any time’ and that it’s simple to withdraw your consent on the app. But let’s just play that scenario out, you initially consent and agree to the contract, but later you change your mind and say ‘no’. With LegalFling, you have to press the pause button on your steamy activities, pick up your phone and revise your consent settings on the app… There is no way you’re going to convince me that that process is easier than just turning to your partner and saying, ‘actually, no, I’ve changed my mind’.
The big problem with consent apps ...
But there’s another glaring issue- if you’ve already agreed to the contract and then change your mind, unless you can reach your phone and revoke your consent, LegalFling would have no idea that you withdrew your consent. You could so easily be left with a legally binding contract that says you consented, and no proof that you ever changed your mind. For an app that claims to have been motivated by the number of sexual assault and harassment allegations brought to light by #MeToo it’s ridiculous how easily this app could help facilitate predatory behaviour. It could provide a way for rapists to ‘prove’ that they had your consent all along to do whatever they pleased.
It’s a slap in the face of campaigns like #MeToo and #TimesUp which were started to raise awareness about the sheer numbers of women facing sexual harassment and assault every day of their lives, but also to hold these sexual predators to account.
If LegalFling really is a response to #MeToo then they have missed the point of the movement entirely. What is clear, is that the priority here is not women’s safety, but to provide a legal shield for those accused of rape or sexual harassment. The app is not for the protection of victims of sexual assault and rape so that they may never have to suffer those experiences again, this app is for the perpetrators- a ‘get out of jail free’ card to keep in your pocket just in case anyone accuses you of assault.
All in all, LegalFling betrays a completely misunderstanding of what consent is supposed to be about. Jaclyn Friedman, editor of Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & A World Without RapeYes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power & A World Without Rape commented, ‘People think about consent in terms of “I need to cover my ass so no one can accuse me of rape.” And honestly, when you're approaching consent from that angle, that's a really rapey angle… it's about covering your butt instead of actually showing up for your partner.’
Consent is an ongoing conversation
Technology may hold many answers to our everyday problems, but when it comes to the issue of consent, an app is no replacement for a good old-fashioned conversation. We need to educate people as to how they can have meaningful dialogues about consent with their partners, to ensure that both parties are comfortable with moving forward at each sexual step.
Is it crazy to want to aim for a world where men can understand if a woman has given her consent without needing to sign legally binding contracts just to ensure they’re on the same page?
Follow Annie Simon on Twitter: @annieasimon
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.