So, it looks like Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are back togetherafter calling it quits in 2014. This reunion is the modern-day fairytale ending that our weary, bad news-trodden selves have been gagging for.
Our Twitter feeds have been packed with candid photographs of them on a ‘romantic’ bike ride. RTs of ‘What is meant for you, will return to you’ and #TeamJelena posts are being lapped up like Augustus Gloop at the chocolate river.
Since they've reunited, the world had suddenly become a little more glittery and glistening and all of Dua Lipa’s hard work on helping you to ‘move the fuck on’ has been tossed in the bin.
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Your ex-boyfriend is suddenly a ‘potential’ again, and that's very dangerous for those of us who will regrettably drunk text them our feelings at 2 am. Unless of course, a dedicated pal distracts us with cheesy chips (shout out to our best gals).
Maybe he will love me again! Maybe he won’t cheat on me and reply to my texts! Maybe he will see how great I am and we will spend Sunday afternoons baking lasagnes and watching Stranger Things in porridge-stained pyjamas NUZZLING (vom).
Let me ruin the ending for you, hun. You aren’t getting back together with your ex-boyfriend/childhood sweetheart/boy you’ve been Instagram stalkin’ since ‘14.
Why? Because you deserve better than that! You 100% deserve a man that loves you back. One that wants to text you back, one that wants to be faithful and one that wants you to be deliriously happy. One that doesn’t make you stay up all night watching the Whatsapp status go online, offline, online, offline, whilst your blue-ticked sentiment is a cruel reminder of how little you mean to them. One that makes YOU want to step up and be the best version of yourself.
Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber? Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth? They are the exception to the rule and should be treated as so.
The first thing to remember is that they are celebrities who have maids, personal chefs and someone to wipe their bottom with the new £10 note if they wanted. They can only date like 30 people in the whole world because the rest of the world will either a) sell a story on them, b) collapse with a case of Fangirl-itus, or c) crumble when a pap rifled through their bins and found a £300 receipt for Domino's after a particularly stressful Monday.
Some have NO CHOICE but to go back to their exes, because let’s face it, being a celeb is lonely enough (if their ghost-written autobiographies are anything to go by). And sure, Justin Bieber quit his tour to build a church and yes, he orders a pint of milk and salmon for a pub lunch and okay, he is now 87% tattoos - but he’s already a safe and known figure to Selena Gomez. Sometimes, we just need someone.
According to psychologist Lindsay George, 'despite the lure and excitement of changing romantic partners, the need for some stable caring connections with a small number of people is more important. 'Theorists Baumeister and Leary claim that human beings are "naturally driven toward establishing and sustaining belongingness," therefore, people should generally be at least as reluctant to break social bonds as they are eager to form them in the first place.’
But people, please remember, you have a choice. You have 3820382 potential partners. You can fall in love in the milk aisle of Tesco. You can dutty wine with a handsome stranger in a club to the Despacito remix. Contrary to popular belief, your ovaries are not going to shrivel up and fall into your shoes!
You don’t need to settle! You can go on as many dates from Bumble as you so wish because no one is gonna sell an exclusive to the national newspaper that you drink beers throw a straw and had spinach stuck in your teeth. How glorious is that!
So, don't follow in the footsteps of Selena and Justin. Instead, draw inspiration from Dua Lipa’s rules (DON’T PICK UP THE PHONE), Little Mix’s banger (YOU BROKE MY HEART AND MADE ME WHO I AM) and Beyonce's mantra (I COULD HAVE ANOTHER YOU IN A MINUTE) have all been carefully formulated to help you live your best life.
You wouldn’t put a pair of worn knickers back on for another day, would you? Not when your pants drawer is brimming with Victoria’s Secret lace and possibility. Jelena may be giving things another shot, but you’re better than that. I believe in you.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.