Broflake: The Perfect Term For Everyone You Hate

Broflakes are not special. They’re the same organic and decaying matter as the rest of us.

Broflake: The Perfect Term For Everyone You Hate

by Vicky Spratt |
Published on

This is the second installment of a weekly Debrief on WTF is going on at the moment...

One of the most interesting things about the Internet, in my humble opinion, is that it provides us with the means to create taxonomies. Encountering a particularly irritating type of person in your day to day life? There’s a buzzword for that. Online, we can quickly ascertain whether a set of character traits are unique anomalies or common to a particular type of person.

This process of classification is enjoyed by everyone, old and young, left and right. Perhaps it’s because we’re a nation which has, historically, been completely obsessed with class so there’s comfort in being able to easily identify different ‘types’ of people. I like to think that Piers Morgan experiences a rising warm, fuzzy feeling in his abdominal area every time he types the words ‘millennial snowflake’. The amorphous youth of today, in all its pesky self-righteousness and narcissism, who think commentators like him belong in a bygone era of white middle-class male hegemony can be identified labelled and, thereby, undermined so very easily.

The term Snowflake is believed to have entered into common parlance following its appearance in Guy Richie’s 1996 testosterone fest, Fight Club in which Brad Pitt’s character poignantly says: ‘you are not special. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same organic and decaying matter as everyone else.’

Earlier this week, I had a professional encounter with the Snowflake’s counterpart, our foil if you will. I am, of course, talking about an increasingly common type of human being. Key markers include being middle-aged, middle/upper class, white, privileged and male. The habitat of choice for these people is West or Central London, the safety of suburbia and, there have been sightings of the most illustrious among this group certain parts of Oxfordshire, Devon or Cheshire during the weekend. After what I thought was a civil conversation about an administrative error on the part of this person, I received a very emotive email which implied that I had completely misunderstood our conversation, implying that I was someone who liked to ‘blame others’ before it went onto gaslight me.

How convenient, then, that my encounter with this classic of the genre should coincide with Urban Dictionary’s decision to make ‘broflake’ the word of the week. The term certainly isn’t new but it’s recent rise to prominence suggests that it has provided a label for something inchoate which has left many of us struggling to find the words to articulate ourselves. Broflake is a slippery and polysemous little term; among its many meanings are:

1.‘A man who thinks he's a "nice guy" and says he will "treat you like an actual human being unlike other males". But if you reject him he says "you're missing out" or "weren't that pretty to begin with”.’

2.Straight white male offended by any feminist or ethnic activity which is not directly designed for him.

3.Member of the alt-right who proudly shouts their free-speech warrior credentials but lose their minds when a fellow member is critcised.

The broflake is likely to take any criticism very personally, has a tendency towards hyperbole and, when questioned, almost certain to fire off impetuous and highly emotionally charged tweets/texts/emails. Gaslighting is the broflake’s modus operandi and privilege protectionism their speciality because they have figured out that change and progress threaten them with extinction. The broflake is very, very, very easily provoked and, I imagine, spends much if his time coiled, snakelike, ready to strike at any moment. Being a broflake, I think, must be totally exhausting but, when you suddenly find that your right to power, privilege and platforms is finally being questioned I guess such defensiveness is to be expected. Members of the group are Piers Morgan (of course), Milo Yiannopoulos (naturally) and Donald Trump is, without a doubt, Broflake-in-Chief.

Until you wrap your head around the term broflake and familiarise yourself with their characteristics enough to be able to identify them easily, you might find yourself frustrated and, even, stifled in certain situations. However, once your au fait with this particular type of person, you’ll find yourself getting through life a hell of a lot more easily.

The next time someone asks you an obtuse question like ‘but what about men’s rights’, instead of recoiling and finding yourself speechless, you can quietly say ‘ah, brokflake’ to yourself. When you’re trying to have a practical conversation with someone and they keep making personal or, even, sexist comments, instead of rising to their bait you can step back, refuse to be manipulated and file them away under broflake in the reservoir of your mind. If you’re ever unfortunate enough to be in the presence of someone who says ‘shouldn’t there be a White History Month and don’t ALL LIVES MATTER’ out loud, you can advise them to go away and think about what they just said and allow your broflake radar to go wild. The next time you query someone and they respond by getting very, very angry and telling you that you’re ‘overly sensitive’ while they hop around with metaphorical smoke pouring out of their ears, you can look upon them, despairing, but safe in the knowledge that they are, in fact, a broflake. A broflake will call you 'emotional' while they overreact, stamp their feet and perform unadulterated melodrama before you're very eyes.

Now, being able to identify the broflake in your midst certainly won’t make encounters with them any less galling. In fact, encountering a broflake will always be tricky because it’s likely that they will be in a position of power or authority. A broflake will try to pull the rug out from under you at every opportunity and you’ll feel like you’re treading on quicksand during what should be very simple interactions with them. They’ll tell you that right is left, the sky isn’t blue and try to undermine every experience as you remember it. But, what giving a name to a phenomenon can do, however, is pin it down. In nailing the concept of the broflake to the floor, labelling it and defining it we can refer to the word whenever we find ourselves in a situation where our voice is undermined or taken away, where that which we know to be right or true is suddenly turned on its head or where you suspect that somebody is trying to manipulate you into doubting yourself. In doing so, you’ll find that you feel stronger and more able to take the broflake on or, even better, dismiss them entirely. It's a bit like discovering the term 'breadcrumbing'when you're being breadcrumbed. Know that the person challenging, undermining or baiting you is a broflake and remain resolute. Let them have their alternative version of events, you’re better off with the truth.

Broflakes are not special. They’re the same organic and decaying matter as the rest of us.

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Follow Vicky on Twitter @Victoria_Spratt

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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