Dear Stormzy,
I’m a bit jealous. Actually, no. I’m really fucking jealous right now. And I just need to take a minute to get this off my chest, if that’s okay? Thanks. I knew you’d understand.
You were at the BRIT awards last night, which is great. You’re great. You got to be all chummy with all these other celebrities which is fine, whatever. But I’m quite worried about this string of super famous people coming out of the woodwork to declare their love for you because I feel like they might overshadow me a bit. Because I’d quite like to be best friends with you, please.
I did really enjoy your performance with Ed Sheeran, and I already quite like Shape Of You. But it still would’ve been nice if you’d been able to perform your own single too, what with your debut album coming out this week and all. But Skepta performed last night and heaven forbid that two grime artists would both perform their own material in one awards ceremony…
Nevertheless, you and Ed seem pretty tight. And we all spotted the two of you at the after party wearing t-shirts of each other’s album covers. That was sweet. You really upped the bromance levels there. We also noticed that time you wore a t-shirt with Louis Theroux’s face on. So I guess what I’m asking is, what’s a girl gotta do to get on your t-shirt?
You’re a stand-up guy, you know that? Remember when you hired out Thorpe Park so you could celebrate your 23rd birthday with your fans? Or that time you wrote a song for your girlfriend Maya’s birthday? So many feels. But also you were also instrumental in making some legitimate, long overdue changes to the way the BRITs nominations work. Last year’s hashtag 'BritsSoWhite' eventually translated to a more diverse voting panel. We see you Stormzy. We see you.
We’re also very aware of the love shared between you and Adele. You reiterated that one in Big For Your Boots. But now Katy Perry has also said she’s a fan and then you fanboyed Maisie Williams and that’s a whole lot of competition for your attention.
You’re a busy guy, I know. So if you don't have time for a cuppa that's fine. But all I’m saying is that I'm inclined to purchase a t-shirt with your face on. So next time man logs into Vista Print (or whatever service you're using) and your mind draws to a blank, I'm right here for you bro.
Best wishes, good luck with the album
Jazmin
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Follow Jazmin on Instagram @JazKopotsha
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.