Let’s face it, we’ll never get to the bottom of the most secret of conversations between Beyoncé and Jay Z. We’ll never know what happened in the elevator with Solange that time; we’ll never know if they spread rumours about themselves for publicity (or is that just a rumour itself?); and we probably won’t know why Bey spent a bit of a basketball game swaying to absolutely no music at all.
Check out the video of Bey and Jay Z courtside at a recent Brooklyn Nets game:
OK, so your initial reactions might be sadness or worry or whatever, but we’ve got to say that’s nowhere near as entertaining as the theories being bandied around on YouTube. It looks as if, if the truth will never get out, you might as well have a lot of conviction in your lies.
Here are our favourite theories as to WTF is going on with her in this clip. Not our own ones, obvs:
1. She’s possessed
‘She’s more like possessed smh. Jay z got her in this satanic and evil industry and Beyoncé has demons that she needs to get rid of smh. She needs to drop Jay take a break and go back to church because I love Beyoncé and ill hate to see some shit happen to her (Keep her in prayer ppl)’
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2. She’s pregnant
‘It is obvious to me that Beyoncé is at least 4 months pregnant and she is tired. She is being a good wife going to the game with her husband but she doesn’t entertained.’
3. This is all a ploy to make sure we don’t care about politics
‘Now we’re getting somewhere...what is going on in our country right now? Elections!!!...all this video is, is a subversive tactic to get people away from what’s really going on, on a national level.’
4. She’s just bored
‘I think she is bored and singing “flawless” to herself in her head.’
5. Beyoncé’s high…
‘As a former drug abuser I can tell you with all certainty she is with a doubt on an opiate, looks like hydrocodone to me.’
6. Or just drunk…
‘Child please. Bey just probably had a couple shots before she got to the game, just like any normal person. I don’t see the big deal. Smh’
7. Bey and Jay have just argued and she’s trying not to cry
‘You could see they disagreeing with something...and maybe she’s moving like that because she’s pissed. She trying to keep her cool’
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8. She’s sort of writing new music
‘She’s a musician. I’m sure she always has music playing in her head as she comes up with new melodies and lyrics’, one user posited, with another insisting: ‘Clearly she’s thinking of music..the she’ll put out a fire track..watch’
9. Basketball games just aren’t that warm!
‘I STRONGLY BELIEVE SHE WAS JUST COLD HER JACKET WAS COVERING HER LEGS AND THE WAY HER ARMS WERE FOLDED IS LIKE A PERSON COLD.....IT IS COOL IN STADIUMS PEOPLE...LEAVE HER ALONE ...PEOPLE TALK ABOUT YOU WHETHER YOU DOING GOOD OR DOING BAD’
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10. The people behind Beyoncé and Jay Z were playing some weird voodoo on her
‘What is the woman behind her signaling? Seems like she was setup’
We will probably never know what’s going on here, and we’re probably not going to fork out to get a lip-reading expert to find out what Beyoncé and Jay were talking about (that could lend some big clues). Our best guess? She needed a massive wee. We all know those times when you need a wee and can’t go and it just seems to come out of your eyes in the form of tears instead, right?
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Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.