Where We Feel The Need To Point Out That None Of Us Want To Be Living At Home Or ‘Sponging’ Off Our Parents

Apparently our parents are risking their pensions by funding us into our twenties. But what choice do we have?

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by Rebecca Holman |
Published on

New research shows that a quarter of British people over the age of 50 still have adult children living at home - almost half of whom don’t make any contribution to the household bills.

Financial experts have waded into to warn baby boomers that they are putting their retirement prospects at risk with their ‘generosity to their grown up children’ *(The Daily Telegraph’*s words not ours), but isn’t that spectacularly missing the point?

The same stats show that young adults are struggling for independence because of the cost of housing, coupled with ever-increasing university debts - so what’s the alternative? Moving out of home and spunking all of your meager starter salary (if you’re lucky enough to get one) on rent? Because that’s exactly what would happen - the average UK rent is £665, which spikes up to £1516 in London, and the average starter salary in the UK is around the £21,000 mark. Try making that work. At what point are you supposed to be trying to pay off all those debts you’ve accumulated getting a degree?

‘I moved back in with my parents in August 2013 after I graduated in May - I couldn’t find a job and there was no way I’d have been able to pay rent,' explains 22-year-old Liv Philips, who now works for the Housing Association.

READ MORE: What Happens When We All Get Priced Out Of London?

‘I pay a small contribution towards food and bills which is considered my rent. It’s a token I insisted on paying because I didn’t want to fit a bad stereotype - I didn’t feel comfortable taking money off my parents.’

Liv has been saving up for her own place since she lived with her parents, and is keen to move out as soon as she can. ‘I hate it - it’s exactly what I didn’t want to do. At 22 I feel like I am responsible for myself, and although my parents help me out occasionally, I want to be financially independent. They have given me a lot and I want to pay them back.’

Liv’s story is far more typical of your average 20-something living at home than the picture that’s painted in the media of Gen Y scroungers, sponging off their unwitting parents. After all, who wants to still be living with their parents well into their 20s? And of course you should contribute what you can afford to the household, but if you’re starting out on a low salary, or even working for free while you try and get some of that all-important experience in, then being able to rely on your parents or other family members for support can be crucial.

Aspiring journalist Isabella Silvers, 22, from Birmingham, currently lives with her grandparents, which means she gets to live near enough to London to complete all those all-important work experience placements and unpaid internships (whilst still working three days a week to earn some money). ‘I don’t pay rent - I’ve offered them money, but they won’t take it. When I try and buy breakfast food for myself or something, they give me money. Even my parents have tried to give them money and they don’t take it.’

READ MORE: Is This A Prison Or A Flat For Rent? It Shouldn't Be This Hard To Tell

Isabella believes that part of the issue is cultural. ‘My family is from India, and Asian families tend to be quite big and act as a huge support system for each other, so they’d never ask for any money because that’s what you’re expected to do for your family. A few of my western friends are expected to pay rent, but myself and my best friend - who’s Iranian - have both noticed the difference.

But is Isabella worried that she’s eating into her grandparent’s retirement fund? 'No, I hadn't thought about it, but maybe I should be!’

So what’s the alternative for 20-something graduates attempting to forge a career for themselves? ‘If I hadn’t been able to move back in with my parents, I’d have really struggled,’ says Liv. ‘I’d have had to sofa surf a lot until I could have afforded a house share, as I was really struggling to get a job at that point. I would have been forced to move to a house share where I knew nobody and wouldn’t have known the area, which isn’t something I’d have wanted to do at all. I’m so glad I had my parents as a fail safe.’

And for young people who don’t have that back up from family, the reality is pretty grim. One girl we spoke to was so knackered working numerous part-time jobs, whilst sofa surfing in an attempt to fund internships and work experience, than she kept falling asleep on work placements, and eventually just gave up on them completely. Someone else is still paying off the huge bank loan she took out five years ago to fund that tricky first year of work. Their parent’s pension funds might have remained unsullied, but that seems like the very definition of a lose/lose situation to us.

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Follow Rebecca on Twitter @rebecca_hol

Picture: Rex

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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