In a new tell-all book Loving Amy, Amy Winehouse's mum describes the last day she saw her daughter in what would turn out to be the alcohol binge that killed her. She visited Amy in her flat, and waited while the singer's bodyguard Andrew went to get her. 'As Andrew turned the corner, I saw Amy was slung over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift. It was obvious he’d washed her and dressed her and tried to put her beehive on to make her look respectable,' she writes. Let's be honest, if you're going to buy the book, it's quite likely these are the sorts of tragic anecdotes you're buying it for. But why are we, the general public, so interested in the details of a legendary singer's death?
When Robin Williams died, I burst into tears. Yes, this visceral response was exacerbated by four glasses of white wine, but Hook was my childhood and the Genie in Aladdin my favourite Disney character.* Mrs Doubtfire* was the first movie I was allowed to watch that referenced a penis (remember when he's rumbled for peeing standing up while in full Doubtfire garb? Shook me to the core, that did) and his Live at the Met stand-up is probably the most I've ever laughed at a stand-up DVD, despite the slightly awkward references to cunnilingus. (I watched it with my dad ffs).
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The next day, I wanted to know if he'd really killed himself, or if it had been a terrible accident, and accidentally came across detailed descriptions of exactly how he'd gone about it. Similarly, when Philip Seymour Hoffman died, we were treated to 'he was found with a syringe in his arm' soundbites alongside excerpts of his private diaries. Stuff you just don't need to know, but stuff that we all (or, at least, a vast number of us) lapped up.
I've done it too, guys. When Amy Winehouse died, I trawled through the net trying to find as many details as I could, not quite knowing why I needed to know if it had been drugs, alcohol, or some sort of illness. So what's behind the macabre behaviour?
Well, according to psychologist Dr. Simon Moore, while it's a confusing and sort of disgusting response, it's also completely natural. 'We're all interested in death because it comes to us all, but there's also some grim, perverse satisfaction from knowing that a celebrity, with all this wealth and fame could go the same way we all do,' he tells The Debrief. 'In terms of wanting to know all the sordid details - it's a vindication for us. We think 'Well I never wanted to be a celebrity anyway, look, they die of an overdose. I'm happy in my safe little boring office in Slough'. It's all about you.' And it's certainly true that when Robin Williams died, I was feeling pretty secure in my life, career and finances - is it a coincidence that I searched for the gory details when Amy Winehouse died and I was a struggling waitress with pretty much no hope?
'The worse your life is, the more jealous you're likely to be,' says Dr. Moore. 'But while there are ghoulish people who feel happy when others fail, there are also a lot more factors at play, despite your own emotions being the focal point.' Like, for example, your relationship with the celebrity in question, the general perception of the celebrity in the media, and then your own social networks. When Joan Rivers died, for example, 13 year-olds are less likely to be frantically Googling the details than those who grew up with her comedy. That's why, when Heath Ledger died during my second year of uni, we all speculated and dug for details; he was *A Knight's Tale, 10 Things I Hate About You *and yeah, Brokeback Mountain. Apparently he went mad while preparing for his role as The Joker in The Dark Knight. Apparently he meant to do it. Apparently it was an accident. Apparently Michelle Williams had left him because of his drug problems. Apparently he was shy and couldn't deal with fame. Apparently he was found dead on his bed, alone and surrounded by pills.
'Theres another side of this, and that's the kudos you get from social groups by knowing more detail than everyone else,' says Dr. Moore. 'If you know what really happened, then immediately you're the focus and the centre of attention. Gossip is an interesting thing; it's just there to make you popular, giving you fleeting social status. In this age, information is at our fingertips. We need to match other people and know more than the next person.' And of course, the more we click on those gruesome details - the diaries of Seymour-Hoffman, the reports of Peaches Geldof found on the bed surrounded by drug paraphernalia - the more details the numbers-driven media will give you.
When Philip Seymour Hoffman died, the only article that sticks in my mind is an Empire piecewhere writer James White ignored the circumstances around his death, and focussed on the best characters he'd ever played. It was the only one I'd read that celebrated his work, rather than the fact he had a needle stuck in his arm.
So is it healthy, then? Are we all just sadists and schadenfreuders, desperate to see people fail and using their lowest ebbs to vindicate the fact that we were too scared to do something creative with our lives? Not exactly, thinks Dr. Moore. 'Psychologically, it serves a function. And that function is to boost self esteem. Rather than psychological health, the focus is more on how it makes you feel. Bad? Stop doing it.'
Another way to think about it is this: we relate to celebrities, but we're jealous. We're jealous because they have everything we want - money, beauty, talent, adoration - so when they fall, it's difficult not to emotionally respond accordingly. Whether that's Britney Spears shaving her head, crying on the side of the road, or Peaches Geldof struggling with an addiction. 'It's like watching soap operas, it's soothing for us. It restores the balance of life, like yin and yang,' adds Dr. Moore.
For now, though, whether it's suicides, drug overdoses, naked pictures or alcohol poisoning, I'm going to stop foraging for gruesome details. Because who needs to know about Amy Winehouse's movements in the hours leading up to her death? We know she was troubled. Let's stop the weird comparisons and just acknowledge her as a husky voiced legend who struggled with addiction and died way too young.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.