Want To Know What The Babysitter’s Club Would Have Been Like In 2014? Like This!

From EDM to bitcoin billionaire, where would Kirsty and Mallory be now?

Haro

by Jess Commons |
Published on

Babysitter’s Club, (say hello to your friends), Babysitter’s Club (say hello to the people who care….).

Hands up if you were the nerd that spent all summer in the library reading Ann M. Martin’s The Babysitter’s Club rather than interacting with real people? God, what a great summer that was. Who needed friends when you had Kristy, Claudia, Mallory et al? Well, maybe not Mallory.

Looking back, it was a little bit weird wasn’t it? I can remember wanting so* desperately* to be 13 so I could be as grown up as the Babysitters’ girls but now it's more like, parents were letting a bunch of 13-year-olds look after their kids? These girls were three whole years off learning to drive FFS. What the hell was going to happen if anything went wrong?

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Anyways, artist Kate Gavino has recreated a bunch of the series’ covers imagining what some of the gang would be like if the series had taken place in 2014, rather than the blissfully innocent early 90s. The results are amazing.

Mallory

Mallory
 

Still unlucky in love and now on Tinder, the dating app of choice for those unable to get ‘steady’ boyfriends like all their prettier mates who don’t have glasses and braces and (SHOCK HORROR) red hair. TBH we were always a little bit concerned as to why Mallory was so sad about her lack of boyfriend. As one of the younger Babysitters, Mallory was ELEVEN. In 2014 we’re thankfully a little bit more lax about making girls settle down by the time they reach puberty.

Kristy

 

Type A, Bossy and Leaning so far In she’s almost horizontal, Kristy Thomas’s work ethic makes Sheryl Sandberg look like a soccer mom. Never one for getting overly emotional, we like to imagine that Kristy’s ditched her ‘pathetic’ first entrepreneurial venture when she sold the algorithm for the new online version of the Babysitter’s Club for £185 million. She now carpools with Zuckerberg and weekends with Taylor Swift.

Stacey

 

A party girl at the forefront of Stoneybrook’s ‘underground rave scene’ Stacey has apparently become an avid aficionado of the ‘EDM’ scene that modern day Americans kids seem so enthralled with. 13 year old Stacey did always date older guys (aged 14) in the books so the fact that she’s popping ‘molly’, guzzling a bottle of vodka and holding Steve Aoki’s lifestyle brand Dim Mak in high regard was the inevitable next step right? Fuck her diabetes man. #YOLO

Dawn

 

Dawn was MADE for 2014. Juice diets, kale inhaling, dairy and gluten free lifestyles; this California girl was always the one thatwas going to fit right in. Quite what the Gluten Free Fight Club are though we’re not entirely sure but we’re probably going to give Whole Foods a wide berth after this.

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Claudia

 

Fashion blogging has given the academically challenged Claudia (if you’ll remember, she went back a school year after finding out she was dyslexic, we’re not being mean) a chance to express herself on a whole other level. Claudia now looks like she’s quite comfortable front row at Moschino while her snobby sister Janine is hopefully stuck in a lab undergoing medical tests for having the highest IQ in the world. For reals, Ann M Martin claimed it was 196. Einstein’s was 160.

Kate didn’t do Jessie and Mary Anne but here’s what we’re guessing would be the case...

Jessie*

 

I mean Jessie always seemed like she had it together. Prima ballerina, nipped her anorexia in the bud pretty early on…. We’re guessing Jessie did just fine and ended up at Juliard just like Julia Styles in Save The Last Dance. She’s now really successful as America’s answer to Darcy Bussell.

Mary Anne

 

Regularly referred to as the only Babysitter’s Club member with ‘a steady boyfriend’ we’re guessing Mary Anne and Logan had an accident one night and, being pro-choice, gave birth to their first child Noah at age 16. Mary-Anne now runs an Etsy store where she sells her knitted woodland characters while Logan drinks at the local bar eyeing up the high school girls he never got the chance to date.

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Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons

Pictures: Kate Gavino

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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