There have been some great wardrobes throughout pop-culture history. Think Cher Horowitz in Clueless or Carrie Bradshaw and her over-inflated and under-used capitalist dream of a closet space in the first Sex And The City movie.
None of these cupboard spaces compare one little bit to what is surely the undisputed queen of wardrobes though, the Beyoncé Knowles of the closet world – Mariah Carey’s wardrobe ROOM.
[object Object]
Hell, we’re not even sure if she lives in this ridiculous house any more, but that episode of Cribs man, that was some pretty powerful stuff. Remember that bit when she just like, got in the bath? What a beautifully batshit mental lady she is. Anyways, despite what we said in the title of this piece you absolutely won’t ever have a wardrobe like Mariah. It’s important that we establish that right here, right now, in case you get any ideas above your station.
What we can help you do though, is make your considerably smaller clothes storage place into an area that’s a little bit more manageable than it is now by telling you about a few fun things to buy. Because that’s about all we’re good for. Sorry.
Here’s a song to play while you read to make up for our lies.
This super-boring extendable clothes rail
GUYS, this might look like nothing but trust us when we say it’ll change your life. You know how you’ve got no space in your cupboard so everything you pull out is all like crumpled and stuff? This extendable rail pulls out so you can hang everything all flat and smooth before pushing back in. No more will people think you’re too poor to own an iron. I mean you are, but they don’t need to know that.
This also admittedly quite boring light
Look, no-one said this was about fun. It’s more about practicality and making your life better. So back off with your yawning jibes. This light doesn’t have any wires and sticks or hangs from anything you like and it’s very presence means you will A) not mistake black for brown again and B) be able to see the massive spider crawling up your dress before you put it on.
These moth balls that aren’t like the ones your granny used to buy
If you live in an old house, chances are you’ve got a few old moth-y friends flying around looking for their favourite item of your clothing to have a good old chomp on. Because moths are dicks, they’re deffos going to choose your dress from Whistles that cost nearly as much as your Glastonbury ticket. These super-cheap moth balls will ward the moths off, change colour when they need replacing and smell like lavender rather than dead people. Result.
This gigantic space-saving piece of ingenuity
The only reason you can’t fit more clothes in your wardrobe is because hangers are designed stupidly and don’t nestle in next to each other very well. It’s definitely nothing to do with that fact that you’ve got too many clothes. That’s impossible, you’re poor. When hung vertically, this guy creates like, nearly quadruple the space from which to hang hangers, which basically quadruples your wardrobe space. Ace.
This rack which will just open the back of your wardrobe door right up to new possibilities
Unused space is your friend my friend and if you’re lucky enough to have a wardrobe door (fancy pants) then make sure you’re making full use of it with this (no screw!) hanger that’ll serve as another rack for you to hang whatever your little heart desires off.
Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.