‘It happened to me when I was about 15 and still at secondary school,’ 28-year-old Amy Jefferies explains to The Debrief. ‘I was walking home and he was standing at the bus stop, he opened his coat and I could see he was wanking. He must have been about mid-40s, but he seemed ancient at the time and was really scary looking – it will take me a while to forget how horrible he looked to be honest.
‘He asked me, “Do you like that?” and, terrified, I managed to say, “No” and run away as he smiled at me. I wish I could say it was the last time someone wanked at me without my permission, but it’s happened at least another two times since then – both before I was 21. It’s always absolutely terrifying.’
Amy’s story is pretty grim, but the terrifying truth is that it’s probably one that many of us are familiar with in one way or another. Being masturbated at, like any kind ofindecent exposure, is a violent act often used to intimidate or terrify, but the sad truth is that it’s an experience that a sizeable proportion of women will go through at some point in their lives.
Yesterday, Laura Bates from Everyday Sexism asked their Twitter followers if it had happened to them and they were blown away by the response. In only a couple of hours, they received well over 1,000 stories from people in 20 countries ranging in age from grandmothers to six-year-olds.
It’s shocking how prevalent the issue is and how many of us have gone through it. So why isn’t it that more of us are talking about it?
The girls we spoke to were in agreement with Laura – the problem almost seems to be endemic. ‘It happened to my housemate last week,’ Emma Kingley, 24, tells us. ‘When she got home and told us about it, we suddenly realised that it had happened to all four girls living in our house.
‘It happened to me in broad daylight in the middle of a park. I was sitting down having a picnic with my friend and this guy just came up to us, pulled at his dick, grimaced and then came and walked away. It was horrible! I’d say it’s happened to about 80 per cent of my friends. It’s really gross but it happens all the time.’
So if it’s so common, why do so few of us actually report the crime? ‘When it happened to me, I didn’t tell anyone,’ 26-year-old Anna Wright explains to The Debrief. ‘It was about five years ago and I was at a station ready to get on a train to my boyfriend’s house. He was actually wearing a suit and looked like a respectable guy, but when I stood up to get on the train, I felt him get close to me behind me and, when I turned around, I could see his dick was in his hand.
‘I just asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing and I think that scared him because a couple of people turned round and he scurried away. I was really shook up by it, but I didn’t tell anyone because he hadn’t actually hurt me, had he? I just thought that, as someone who lives in London, this is something that happens and you kind of have to shrug it off.’
Understandable, but Karen Froggatt, a director at Victim Support, believes that the crime desreves to be dealt with seriously. ‘Flashing isn’t funny if it happens to you,’ she says. ‘Some people might be able to laugh it off, but it can leave other people really shaken.
‘Anyone who has been affected by any kind of abuse can talk to our team who offer confidential advice and support. As we are an independent charity, there’s no pressure to report an incident to the police. But we can help people make a statement if they want to.’
The Victim Support helpine can be reached on: 0845 30 30 900
Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophiecullinane
Picture: Li Hui
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.