In Which We Ask The Over 60’s For Some Love Life Advice

Because they are apparently having more sex than us. And they're more sorted with it.

Lukasz.

by Amelia Phillips |
Published on

Being young is awful. The rest of society think you have it easy but they couldn’t be more wrong. While they imagine you’re necking Margaritas every night and spending your endless pot of disposable income on Crème de la Mer, you’re actually sitting in the bath, panicking that you haven’t started a pension yet and trawling Tinder for potential husbands.

It’s not young people that are having all the fun, it’s the OAPs. The ageing baby-boomers are wealthier than ever, while under 30s bear the brunt of the recession. They’re enjoying their freedom, too, according to recent studies. The Daily Mail had a field dayafter finding that STI diagnosis in OAPs has risen by 8.2 per cent, with many of those questioned having ‘never used a condom’.

Last year,* Channel 4 News* took the findings further, with a series of reports on sex, love and the over 60s, which investigated the liberal lifestyles of the ‘new old age’. Over half of those questioned feel more sexually confident than ever and a quarter enjoyed sex more than when they were younger. Only 4 per cent reported having a highly active sex life, but it appears that even among the less sexually active, the desire is there.

Thanks to the internet, old singles don’t have to subject themselves to cruise holidays or ballroom dancing. Dating sites have introduced older generations to a world of like-minded crinklies that they might otherwise never meet.

But in comparison to 20-somethings, their expectations are quite low. Young people often enter into online dating through a necessity to find a life partner. The grannies and granddads on Channel 4 News seem purely curious about discovering something new and fun – and maybe meeting a long-term partner in the process.

When it comes to relationships, old people have got their heads screwed on. It got us wondering what else we could learn from them. We took some common 20-something woes to the streets to see what wisdom London’s sexagenarians and over would impart.

Lorraine and Alan

Lorraine-and-Alan-daylight-by-bus-stop
 

How do I know when I’ve found the one?

Lorraine: When he does what he’s told.

Alan: When you think about the other person before you think about yourself.

Anne

Have I chosen the wrong career?

I was a secretary all my life, I didn’t choose my career really. You need a job to earn money and as long as you enjoy it to some extent, but it’s what you do in your spare time that counts.

Am I adventurous enough in bed?

I don’t know! If you want to be more adventurous, maybe not.

Chuck

 

How many sexual partners is too many?

I read somewhere that the average is seven. I think as many as you can before you kick the bucket, sow your wild oats. Yes, I still have oats. I have Quaker oats every morning.

Will I ever make my mark on the world?

It’s important to try. If we were all bankers, there wouldn’t be a world left. If there were no doctors or nurses or teachers, what the fuck would we do then?

Paul

 

Why am I not happy?

I think young people have an inferiority problem, I did when I was young. There are an awful lot of lonely people these days. You need to go out more and overcome any complexes.

Are they all in my head?

Of course they are! Diet has a big impact, you need to eat a balanced diet, smoke less and drink less. I knock back a coffee sometimes and it’s almost like a whisky. I think some people need to reassess their values, too.

How so?

Well, I think it’s OK to sleep with someone before you’re married but it should be someone you want to be the mother or father of your children, not just someone you want as a companion for that evening.

Chris

Do old people embrace single life as much as young people?

I’m a Catholic so I only had one and she’s been gone for five years now. There won’t be another, one was enough for me.

Sheila and Harry

 

Does life get easier as you get older?

Harry: It gets less complicated overall, but your health gets more complicated.

How many sexual partners is too many?

Sheila: You go first.

Harry: We’ve been married 35 years but if we hadn’t, I wouldn’t worry about it.

Sheila: As long as you do it safely, I think as many as you like.

Harry: I probably wouldn’t bother going into double figures, I wouldn’t have the energy.

Brian

 

Does life get easier as you get older?

For those who don’t have health, wealth or family problems, yes. You gather experiences and accept failure throughout your life. You learn to set more realistic goals and realise that achieving less than you hoped for isn’t that bad. You prioritise the simpler things in life and take less for granted. It’s easier to sort the wheat from the chaff regarding the more important things and the superficial rewards that are such an overriding desire at a young age.

What’s the most important thing in life?

Peace of mind. You have to accept your lot, but that doesn’t mean stop trying. Some very poor or ill people are quite content while others who seem to have it all are very unhappy. Envy and jealousy are so very self-destructive. It’s important to have people around you. There are lots of old, lonely people waiting to die. It’s very sad. The best thing you can hope for is to have been appreciated, wanted or loved at some point in your life.

Follow Amelia on Twitter @ameliaephillips

Picture: Lukasz Wierzbowski

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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