In news that with neither shock nor surprise, the United Kingdom did not win the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest. We didn't do terribly - 40 points got us to, erm, seventeenth place - and our Molly looked rather lovely while being very dignified. However, in the end none of it really mattered anyway because the only thing anyone cared about was CONCHIIIIITA! Seriously, our ears are still ringing from the cries at our party of one (though attended by several million via Twitter).
Austria's Conchita Wurst, the the alter-ego of 25 year old Tom Neuwirth, who's previously said she doesn't 'give a crap about the homophobes', stormed to victory with the aptly titled song ‘Rise Like a Phoenix’, scoring handfuls of 'douze' points, which eventually totted up to 290 - 52 more than runner up Netherlands. Woo!
And looking at social media, it wasn't in the slightest bit surprising - the others didn't have a chance. Our Russell was the first to show his support for his fellow lovely-locked charmer, tweeting:
Then Nigella joined in the fun…
And so did the rest of the world as the buzz spread beyond Europe (get yer own contest, America!). Even Russia and Ukraine, who'd made calls to have Austria's entry to be blocked, gave Conchita five and eight points respectively. Which leads us to the important bit. Aside from the kitschy fun, this win has real meaning. As our favourite beard food critic tweeted:
While Conchita herself had a message specifically for President Putin, saying on her win:
"I don’t know if he’s watching but if so I think I said it clear on stage. We are unstoppable."
Damn right.
Image: Getty
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.