Heatwaves in this country generally mean one of two things: inappropriate bikinis and white wine spritzers on the side of the road, or irreparably taking a pair of scissors to everything you know and love.
The transition from six layers and still chilly, to lower-back sweats if you even think about a winter coat is no easy feat, made harder by the fact we’re given so little time to adapt. Last week I was wearing wool under sheepskin, now I’m desperately rifling through old suitcases for a skort I vaguely remember buying in Ibiza two years ago.
The sad fact is, some people are born with an innate knowledge of what to wear in summer, and some people aren’t. If you’re one of the ones who finds yourself in your mid-twenties wearing denim shorts you bought in sixth form paired with a pyjama top and pink flip-flops, chances are you haven’t inherited the skill. The first step is admitting you have a problem, because while you might sit crying on the floor of your bedroom surrounded by every item of clothing you own while the sun continues to shine obnoxiously through the blinds, the truth is, you have absolutely loads to wear.
You need to shake the summer panic attack and stick to this list of basics, to ensure you always have something to gravitate towards. Hell, take pictures of yourself in five outfits and stick them on your mirror so you can talk yourself out of crawling back into bed and re-watching True Detective until October if you need to. You don’t need to decide between gym-wear and evening-wear just because they’re either breathable or revealing enough, just flesh out your basics and get on with your life. Or try these:
A FUNKY OFFISH T-SHIRT
A couple of good T-shirts are basically going to be your best friend for the next 4 months (or couple of hours, depending on how this heatwave really pans out). Wear with a pleated mini-skirt, a pair of twisted Levi’s (they’ve been back for ages, don’t act surprised) or some trusty high waisted shorts. To be honest I’m going to get mine in XL and wear it with gym shorts and adidas superstars because I. Just. Can’t. Be. Bothered.
T-shirt, £34.99, Funky Offish
A MINIDRESS
While summer is a good time to flirt with different skirt lengths, hacking the bottom off at least one dress is both inevitable and necessary. When you need to be comfortable/sexy/casual/not wearing a t-shirt and gym shorts a minidress can come in incredibly useful. Buy an old Ghost slip off eBay and DIY it a bit more slutty. Plus you can throw them in the washing machine meaning they’re not just going to fester in the bottom of your laundry bin along with all those pink and navy things you can never be bothered to wash.
Ghost slip dress, currently £10.50, eBay
BIRKENSTOCKS
Wearing socks on a hot day is like wearing uggs to the beach. It’s missing the point. Ditto goes for wearing trainers with bare feet. Unless you’re trying to cultivate a new strain of bacteria, allowing your feet to breathe is mandatory. Forget messing around with pool sliders unless you want to look stuck in a 2013 vacuum, and head straight to the nearest ethical shoe store. Just remember to wear your Birkenstocks in over a few weeks before the height of summer actually kicks in. Trying to enjoy the Rolling Stones as my feet were slowly pulverised was difficult. Possible, but difficult. Oh and once they’re worn in you will literally never take them off, like for the next fifteen years, so you might want to warn your significant other.
Double strap sandals, £64.95, Birkenstocks
SPF
Because fuck getting skin cancer when you don’t even look that good with a tan.
Sun block, £31, Kiehls
OFF-THE-SHOULDER ANYTHING
An off the shoulder top with a choker might be the most clichéd of all summer outfits, but when it’s a choice between looking like a Dalston tourist, or the missing the whole summer because you can’t decide what to wear, the former is almost always preferable. Wear with a denim skirt to complete the 'Aint it Funny' transformation, or channel a Victorian baby with shorts in a matching colour.
Off the shoulder top, £8, ASOS
A WHITE SHIRT
Tie it up like a crop top, wear it loose over a slip, button it over your gym shorts. There’s nothing more versatile or useful than a white shirt, and they look better the older and softer they get. Forget button down collars or detail on the front pocket, just stick to the most basic and least problematic when you drop a plate of spaghetti down it after one too many spritzers. I know, doesn’t that sound fun? Go outside and do it. Now.
Men's shirt, £19.90, Uniqlo
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.