According to the Chanel show on Tuesday, every time you re-enact supermarket sweep through the cereal isles of Sainsbury's in Uggs and your dads old raincoat (actually sounds quite chic) you're blaspheming the church of all things fashion. Thought you were safe from the prying eyes of the style police as you quietly decide between sausage pasta or plain sausages? Think again. The supermarket was literally the new runway in Paris this week - which means shopping is the new place to prove you can pull off knee-high lace up trainers and balloon shouldered tweed coats. (Well no one can pull those off, but you get the gist.) Anyway, because we can't all have tastefully woven dreadlocks glued into our ponytails when we realise we're out of fabric softener, we've put together a short guide on how to glam up your grocery shopping. Look, what else are you going to do on a sunday?
1. WEAR MULES
Because mules are a) hilarious and b) unbelievably comfortable. Upgrade your birkenstock and sock combo to include a pair of fluffy slip-ons. No they aren't trainers (sorry Karl) but they're equal parts oppressed housewife and Playboy Bunny, which to be honest, when you're buying cat litter and flat leaf parsley, does actually make you feel quite glamorous. Or, if you actually want some serious mules you can wear to the supermarket and beyond try these:
Mules, £186, Opening Ceremony
2. GLOVES ADD SOMETHING, TOO
Because obviously, but also because if you bump into someone you know, which after all this effort you might as well hang around until you do, you can dramatically pull off each glove and sigh and talk about house prices. Again, hilarious.
Cut-off gloves, £45, Dents
3. A BIG COAT
Not because you're an actual shoplifter, but there's nothing wrong with inviting the element of risk into your shopping experience. At Chanel Cara was wearing a tattered pink crop top with matching leggings under her over-sized coat, with dreadlocks for god's sake. If Karl isn't trying to make the loose potatoes option on a self-service chic then I really don't know anything about fashion.
Rainmac, £150, Topshop
4. GRAB SOME SUNGLASSES
A good pair of sunglasses can take an outfit which is threatening to cross over into completely absurd, and pull it right back into 'I was at a Vogue party last night, such a late night, and I just threw this whole thing on. And where even are the kiwis in this supermarket anyway?' Smart.
Cat Eye sunglasses, £12, ASOS
5. A POUND COIN
Because Karl had custom-made leather and chain shopping baskets. So if you haven't got a quid to get you a trolly to complement all the work you've just done then your outfit is destined to be a total fashion disaster.
Follow Bertie on Twitter @bertiebrandes
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.